.- quantum uncertainty -.

I went to bed relatively early for me last night -- 2:30 or so, and I was curled up in bed, planning on sleeping for about 7 and a half hours.

I dreamt about having the hiccups.

Do you know why I dreamt about having the hiccups?

That's right. While asleep, I had the hiccups and then woke up and went "WTF?!" basically. So at 6am, I trudged to my kitchen, had a spoonful of sugar and a glass of water and trudged back to my bed. It all seems surreal. Had there not been the glass and spoon in the sink today, I would have guessed I'd dreamt it.

Back to bed by 6:05 and then awake at 10, thankfully. I had nightmares for four hours. All heart-stopping, panic-inducing and emotionally brutal, to do with people abandoning me and letting me down and expectations not being lived up to, and it was my family and my dear friends, not strangers.

I suspect this sense of dread and the anxiety that has lingered since I woke up has to do with the fact that my mother is coming over in less than an hour. "To help me pack", apparently. That means, she wants to ensure I bring skirts, dressy shoes and a couple nice shirts to Italy. Like I can't do that on my own at the RIPE OLD AGE OF 29. Thanks, Mom. You make me feel so good about myself.

The coda to that is that she's going to criticize everything about my appearance, the cleanliness of my apartment and is generally going to make me feel absolutely miserable before I spend TWO WEEKS WITH HER. Not to mention six hours on a plane with her when she hasn't had a cigarette since before boarding.

I wish I could brace myself for the oncoming barrage of criticism, but I don't have the strength. I feel worn out and I've had a headache since before I went to bed.

I need a hug, and all the huggable people I care about ARE NOT IN MY CITY AND WHY IS THAT?

I shall now stop ranting and go get a cold cloth to put over my eyes in the hopes that my tylenol kicks in soon.

(PS: I have received precisely two "Yes, I want a postcard" emails. Please send your mail to [nickname shiningmoon gave me] [at] gmail [dot] com, with your address, please! Or, if you don't know that nickname of mine, please send it to brinshannara [at] gmail [dot] com.)