Nov. 6th, 2004

brinshannara: (simpler times)
A couple of weeks ago, or maybe like, 10 days ago, I unplugged my laptop's AC adapter and began winding the cord around it to pack it into my bag.

The adapter came unplugged from the wire that actually plugs into the wall. And landed on my foot.

Not my toe. My foot. Right smack dab in the middle of the top of my foot.

That hurt. The bruise was ugly. But I just rubbed that spot on my foot, because it was itchy, and didn't think about how it was that tender spot, and pushed a little too hard, and motherfuckingow that hurt. I hope I didn't inadvertantly break a bone in my foot the other day. :/

In other news, the grey hairs are popping up again. The good news: I yanked one out tonight and I KNOW I got the whole root. The root was nearly a centimeter long! Got that one. Hahaha.

Of course, while showering tonight, I was shampooing and conditioning and, honestly, it's a miracle I'm not bald. Of course, not a single grey hair was among the DOZENS of hairs I retrieved from my head, as I fingercombed shampoo and conditioner through it, and not a one came out in my hands while I was rinsing.

In a detached way, it's funny that I'm dealing with grey hairs one minute, and the next, I find myself wondering when the hell I'll stop breaking out. Every month, like clockwork, for about 10-14 days, I break out. Damn hormones. There was a massive zit on the end of my nose tonight. I'm not kidding. I'm 27. I'm getting grey hairs. I should be exempt from pimples.

6:22am. I'm considering sleep, soon.

I don't have a lot to say. But I do have this, and rather than make a friendslocked post, I'll just say it somewhat cryptically here.

I had a major epiphany today, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] literaryradical. That said, it's something I tend to be aware of when I'm feeling blah, so it's not like it's really a new epiphany. But I'm allowing myself to think about it while not miserable, when I actually have self-esteem and a little personal pride.

It's like... I'm on a road, driving somewhere I'm not even sure I want to go, so I have to basically slow down, then pull over, talk to a citizen of the place I find myself driving through, and figure out if I should make a U-turn and head back home or if I should go through the place I'm going to, or just go around it.

The key is in planning to go around or to pull the U-turn, because we all know buying land there isn't really a possibility, although a short drive through might not be the end of the world. In other words, I need to be calm, rational and logical, not emotional, focussing on the likely, rather than the possible, or the dream.

Which is just funny, but still, I can disengage from that stuff when I really need to.

So I'm thinkin' Tuesdayish. I won't have anything due the next day, I can sleep in the next day, and shouldn't have anything due for the Thursday, either. And one of my friends may be coming to town on the Friday, so yay for moral support.

At worst, an illusion is shattered and a dream that never would have lived, dies. At best, things go as I would have planned them to in a dream. Most likely, things will go the way they've gone before, and I'll just drive around the city limits, and there will be greater understanding about various things.

Very little sense, I know. But it makes sense to me, and when I look back at this, a year from now, I'll know what I mean. That's the important thing.

Have a good Saturday, people.

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